Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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