I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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