im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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