I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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