i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize