he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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