Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
