i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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