I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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