...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
