I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
