Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
