i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
