Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
