I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize