I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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