I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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