can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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