Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
