.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
