he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
