apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
