this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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