And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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