I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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