He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
