tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
