yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize