When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
