Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why can't burritos get me drunk
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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