Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
