Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
