i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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