I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Do you still have your period?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
