You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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