I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize