just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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