How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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