i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
