Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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