you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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