Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize