I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize