dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
