I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
