just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
