his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dignity is for republicans.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
