i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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