yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Semen is not good for contacts.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
