I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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