guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
