Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
