How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
