he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
