Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
