i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
