Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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