Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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