Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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