its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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