just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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