HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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