look no pants
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
