I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize