I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
