Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
