i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
